"Status Quo"

Shifting in my own shoes
I stand with discomfort,
Staring at my twin
Made of elastic and dirt.

My head plays a jingle
I cannot hear,
My eyes play a game
I don't want to go near.

With one finger on Rewind
The other on Play,
I feel as my own double
Not saying what I want to say.

My head creates a story
I cannot tell,
My eyes see people
I don't know well.

Scanning the room
My thoughts try to flee,
The air is filled with song
But my feet control the glee.

My head tells a lie
I think is true,
My eyes trace mistakes
I don't wish to subdue.

Growing up every minute
The time I must tame,
While focusing on change
I must remain the same.

My head shows a dream
I cannot lease,
My eyes fabricate a life
I don't quite believe.

"Ablaze"

Like Orange he burns
In the midnight,
Like Red he swirls
In the twilight.

Fighting to live
To flicker and flare,
Fighting to stay
And survive each stare.

His droplets create moments
Out of dreams,
His movement creates rhythm
That he steals.

His every glister
Lends a smile,
And his every quiver
Lasts a while.

Swaying side to side
Hugging his neck,
Slowly disappearing
Into a speck.

He doesn't doubt
The quality of a spark,
Instead he questions
The dark...

(Gayatri- thanks for the inspiring pic!)

"7 days too late"

This one's for Vid! Happy Belated B'day!! :)

I know I know
What I did wrong,
I forgot your b'day
And didn't sing you a b'day song.

How I can reassure you
That you still mean as much?
And that forgetting a day
Doesn't make me a schmuck?

I could send flowers
But then flowers are for girls,
I could send you hair gel
But then you have little curls!

I could send you food
But food doesn't travel far,
I could send you a racing game
But what you probably want is a car!

I could send you memories
But you have a good life,
I could send you lots of love
But then you have a gorgeous wife!

I could send you a card
But 'Belated' doesn't do it justice,
So I thought I'll write you this poem
And send a virtual kiss (sorry Savi!)

I'm sure you had fun
And wish I was there to share,
Those little memories and moments
And show that I do care!

I know that day is gone
But give me a smile,
Cos I am here to celebrate
Every other day of your life!

"Guided By Voices"

As humans, our life is a intricate web of roundabouts. We enter with conviction, and always forget to take the right exit, thus landing back at the beginning : less hopeful, yet more determined to find our way.

We re-think ugly thoughts, relive hard memories, cry those hurtful tears time and again, repeat our mistakes, say those piercing words to the ones we love and live but hardly ever learn.

It's hard to take the first step. It's also hard to take the last one. But the path we walk in between is as pleasant or as unpleasant as we decide to make it. We are guided by a voice in our heads, and today my voice tells me a different thing than it did yesterday. It's my prerogative to listen to it or not, to enter that roundabout or not, to be guided by it or to guide it to safety.

My roundabout is a maze, and I am determined to nose my way out...

"Swing & Dance"

"If music be the food of love, play on".

I couldn't have put it better than Shakespeare myself. This sentence sums it all. The search ends in the soul. And that is exactly what music is. Soulful.

Music taught me how to emote. It created in me the feeling many run from - Sensitivity. In fact music probably is the very emotion in me. Each song brings back fond memories, and each memory brings with it the feeling of time well spent. Whenever I hear a tune from the past, I cannot help but re-play in my head the exact sensation of that moment. Place, time, people all intact. If I were a scientist, I would probably use music to create a time machine. I always wondered why the so-called brilliant people never thought of that.

There are people in the world who write the words in my head. Yes, their lyrics are a reflection of my world. I wonder how they got in there. But they did. And when they did they created beautiful melodies. Melodies that have become a part of my existence. Melodies that make me sing along. Melodies that re-define my thoughts. Melodies that are Me.

I put my headphones on and let myself immerse in the fantasy that builds around it. Tears stream down my face, and then the smile breaks out. The emotions mixed transport me to a place that I wish was real. But it also brings with it time that has been, time that is, and time that will be. I associate the song with those I love, loved or will come to love. And whenever I see their faces, their tune automatically resonates in my head. A feeling so surreal that I cannot pen into words. A feeling so surreal that it almost has its own lyrics.

To those who are reading this, I hope you all have your own song. That one song that makes you feel like yourself, and one that simply makes you happy. A song that reminds you of someone, something, someplace or sometimes...just nothing.

I hope my music always remains. And if it ever fades away, it's only because the next tune in queue awaits in turn..

"The not-so-sure footed mountain goat"

Much as I adore being born a Capricorn, the tag comes with much responsibility. Those responsibilities that bear your shoulders down, however strong a shoulder you may have. Don't get me wrong, these responsibilities are not endowed upon me by the world as you may think, these are but self imposed. And we Capricorns do take our self imposed responsibilities very seriously.

I love to over think and over analyze. I not only have to think for myself, but I also feel the need to think for others in the world. After all, this power was not evenly distributed, and I absolutely can't allow others to lose out because of that. So I think and think , and analyze and complicate things, and finally get tired doing so. And once I am tired, I think about why I got tired. So it's a vicious circle. The circle of my life. I also judge people (yes, if I know you, I have already judged you at hello). And I judge them just to be more sure of my behavior around them, because I simply must be liked! Most people often face days when they were misinterpreted and they need to convince someone that they are nice in reality. In my case, those days can't exist.

I sometimes feel like a flat tire, wobbly in the knees, pulling down those befriending me. But then at other times I feel proud that because of me, those around me, get checked and tested at regular intervals. But even on my best days, the air in me runs out and I feel spent. And those are the days I step back. Not as much for myself, as for the sake of preserving the sanity of those around me.

Even when I am decided, I am not. Even when I nothing to say, I talk. Even when I am strong, I feel weak. Even when I am telling the truth, I sometimes use a lie. Even when I am sad, it creates happiness. Even when I am alone, I accompany someone. Even when I see, I don't look. Even when I smile, I am not over it. And even when I make sense, I wish I didn't.

It's not easy being Me. Someday I would like to be the sure footed mountain goat I am meant to be. And I hope that day is not far away.

"Ever since that day"

This one's for Mum, wherever you are...

I woke up, yearning your stare
Your side of the bed, the good side,
Empty, ruffled and bare.

I woke up, believing it was yesterday
It was no dream, no dare,
Your welcoming face had faded away.

I woke up, smelling my childhood
It ran past me, took you along,
And I cried as much as I could.

I woke up, feeling you surround me
Incomplete, without voice or form,
With a blink it became 'I' from 'We'.

I woke up, only to go back to bed
Life looked unreal, untrue,
And there was nothing left to be said...

--Oasis--

Scarlet Letters
And Velvet dreams
Clutching to sanity, is me,
Standing in between.

Jade smiles
And wishes so blue.
Where am I, where do I go,
I haven't got a clue.

Streets in red
And lives so rare.
I know not what I'm missing,
Yet I feel so bare.

Fairy tale commitments
And pixie lies.
They don't exist,
But I see them super size.

Crystal sleep
And pearly midnight dew
I pinch myself,
But end up hurting you.

"The Art of Poetry"

I hadn't written for a while
And I didn't know why,
So I went to find Feeling
And talk to Heave and Sigh.

They were at the movies
So I decided to go as well,
Just to sit beside them
And ...dwell.

As I walked into the cinema
A couple rushed in late,
It was none other than
Plan & Co-incidence, out on a date!

"This is great!", I thought
"All emotions together, right there,
I bet this will help me write
Although I don't see Truth anywhere."

Nevertheless, sitting in dark corner
I watched the scenes go by,
Just when Time called out to me
And I knew the end was nigh.

The story was confusing
Or was there story none?
I wasn't even aware
That I was missing Fun.

As the reel rolled on
Credits showed up on the screen,
I hadn't spotted Clue, or Idea
And Impatience was nudging me.

"This is not productive"
I thought to myself aloud,
"How can I produce a work of art
When Reality isn't around."

I kept staring at the blank screen
When Sadness gave a cry,
Telling me she had sued a crocodile
For stealing her tears & running them dry.

Disappointed, I walked back home
Greeted at the door by Rhyme,
And I smiled to myself
"At least she is mine!"

It was right there, always at home
The Thought, the Prose, the Why,
And all this while I'd been looking for Inspiration
In a home that belonged to Lie.