The mercy pills

This is not going to be a medical thesis about a pill you should or should not pop in everytime you feel under the weather or to avoid feeling under the weather or well to avoid the weather's toll on you...it's a simple jot of feelings...

..feelings so overwhelming that no pills help...feelings nonsensical and absurd..when I find myself smiling like a jackass first thing in the morning even though my back feels sore and I must get to work in 20 mins...or when I find myself sulking just because the leggy female who crossed me looked me up and down condescendingly, and said to her friend in a chuckle..."gosh she could do with some weight loss...and new shoes!"..yeah yeah she didn't say it...but she could've...!

Someone once commented that I am better off with a dagger in my hand..than with these emotions being emitted periodically..in the most ridiculous forms..I feel sad..and I grin endlessly...I feel cheerful and excited as though this has been my best day ever, and as the evening fades in I find myself teary...Stop!.don't flow..there is no reason for you to show them...control...breathe...ah! all in vain...they trickle down anyway....and half hour later the grin is back on..

Sometimes I feel devious..at others the biggest halo shines upon my forehead...serious! you can see it a mile away..a radiant white glow..mischievous yet angelic...if you're lucky I might even buy you lunch..

It's almost like a million different parts I play in a day..or an audition i'm up for where I am supposed to display my skills to emote...with or without a stimulus.

Draining to the core...and frustrating coz it's one thing I don't have control over...[apart from my job, my hair, my weight, my skin, my looks, my teeth, my legs, my eyelashes, my moves..err my life]...the few dreaded days wane away slowly...and no one notices..no one pays me a compliment...no one stays out of my way[for the sake of their own health and well being mind you.]..and no one takes the warnings seriously...it's a self invite to death...if not worse...remember the dagger is not just figurative!

It's a curse...a drag for life...worse than a rip in your favourite dress just before a night out...a run in your stalkings...an egg 'sunny side up' ... it's a Permanent Mental Situation...

Remedy...none really...
Self defence..hmmm smile at me and don't expect me to smile back...don't talk but dare you tell me to shutup...

....a packet of MnM's is all I need to regain my sanity...and I'm back in action..for the time being at least..till the bug surfaces again..in one form or another..a spike of energy and a momentary sugar rush...

....Nothing like drowning your sorrows in colour....