The Calorie Monster

Unlike all you who are shaking your heads and saying.."There she goes again" after reading the title..let me clarify things for you..this is not a sermon on how the festive season is evil for the ever obliging waist line, which expands and expands and expands to swallow everything that it is fed this time of the year[unfortunately everyone has a polite tummy!]...nopes this isn't a cover story for all the ridiculous articles in the newspapers and magazines which write bags of baloney about eating healthy during the holidays..just coz they have no other news to cover...and lastly this is definitely not a recipe for "Cook healthy but preserve the flavour"! Whats that all about?? That is like saying sleep with your eyes open or having a decaf-low fat-sugarfree drink and calling it coffee !

[I did get my point across though..I'm a genius..!]

This one is about the day I wait and plan for the entire year and when it finally arrives I sit at home with a cup of tea and a plate of not-so-tasty-nor-healthy-homemade-noodles [eyuccckk] and blog this article....why? Simply because the anticipation and anxiety I built up for myself was too much to keep pace with, and the pressure overcame me at some point of time..the overwhelming need to celebrate resulted in a tad bit too much pre-partying [read ever since the first week of december] with little of nothing left for the present or post partying! Don't get me wrong..I'm not entirely burnt out..but lets just say am more than half way there..and New Years being round the corner makes it worse! I would sound like a fizzled-out-can't-hold-her-drinks lunatic if I said i'm actually tense about not being able to have a good time for the next 5 days..but I'm saying it anyway...I want to have a good time and it's worrying me!..[Yes it's official..I'm crazy..]

I've been hit by the bug..the compuslion-to-have-fun bug..shake all you want but it doesn't get off! It's clinging on nice and strong and does manage to get it's point across everytime I play a party pooper and make and excuse to leave early..and there it is again when I cringe and rapidly think of reasons to sit at home when invites pour in..and when the log cakes call out and I pretend not to hear..and a peep from it as the beer flows strong and I convince myself I'm too hung over to have another sip...all in all I can't handle this relationship..[talk about an awkward partner during the jolly season!]..

I need to re-visit my freedom, not plan for a while, not be seen dead with the ridiculous glowing reindeer antlers on my head and definitely not bite more than I can chew...All year I did more over the weekends than I did today..I was a self proclaimed statue, a stiff legged lump of lard..in a nut shell a decorative couch potato..and now is the time I start to feel ashamed for wasting a perfectly warm day...so what if it wasn't white..the cheer and jingle was still around..and I walked right through it..

Help!!...I'm stuck under the mistle-toe with the holiday monster..and have no energyy left to run...

"Wishing I Were Santa"

Oh that blusey feeling
Where I look for a smile
Like hunger during a meeting
It lasts a lifetime...

Oh that blusey feeling
Where I wish to be free
And have my name on all the gifts
Under the neighbours' tree...

Oh that blusey feeling
Where I long for just one
One perfect cup of coffee
That makes me lose a tonne...

Oh that bluesy feeling
Where I'm cold all day
And I miss the words of warmth
Coz I'm talking all the way...

Oh that blusey feeling
Where chocolate is the only cure
No time to blush, feel shy
Gulp one and drive away the bore...

Oh that blusey feeling
Which just grows and grows and grows
Cherry red on Santa's clothes
It's there, but doesn't show...

Oh that blusey feeling
Which makes me wanna sing out loud
Like an out-of-tune partridge shrill
Yet manage to keep the crowd...

Oh that blusey feeling
Which compares none other
Oh that blusey feeling
PMS's very own mother..
Oh that blusey feeling
Fogs the head all day
Oh that blusey feeling
Makes december feel like may..
Oh that blusey feeling
Slimy and persistent, stays long
Oh that blusey feeling
The worst, second only to a frog..
Oh that blusey feelingEvil eye with a smirk
Oh that blusey feeling
My christmas tree at work..!

"In-between"

A day warm n moist
Feels like spring in summer
A moment Wholesome n fragrant
With myriad of colour..

A holiday so short
An experience, I wonder
A season where one lives
And forgets all other..

A wish pure and harmless
Never said out loud
A look that doesn't repeat
And is lost in the crowd...

It's those little hints we miss
The ones I shyly ignore,
It's those silent fireflies
Which don't always glow..
It's the joyous pressure
The love I dread to feel,
It's those specific emotions
That I would like to steal..
It's the tune of tomorrow
That I want to dance today,
It's that lesson in a minute
That I carry along the way..
It's that tingling rush
That overtakes a gushing spring,
It's the blush of happiness
That makes me warm within..
It's the missed flavour
I want to savour again,
It's that little fading opportunity
I search for in vain..
It's the early Xmas gift
I found bundled in a cheer
It's that same pleasant thought
Someone left me with this year..

"Rendezvous"

He asked me for a dance
I jumped with a 'yes'...
Staring at me
Singing a song,
(A song out of tune)
He asked me for my hand
My hand I gave..
Holding it tight
Closing his eyes,
(Eyes so black)
He asked me for a kiss
A kiss he took..
Saying words of love
Devoting his strength,
(Strength so fragrant)
He asked for my name
My name I whispered..
Repeating the name
Making music,
(Music so calm)
He asked for silence
Silence came along..
Talking with his eyes
Swaying me away
(A sway so enchanting)
He asked me to stop
My steps slowed down..
Stealing my eyes
Stealing my life,
(A life not forgotten)
He asked me let go
I opened up my arms..
Setting free
Crying a tear,
(A tear bitter)
He asked for a goodbye
Goodbye it was..
Walking away away
Not looking back,
(A look I longed)
I asked him why
His glance answered for him,
We were different people two
Only similar in the melodies within..
(Melodies that turned into memories new)

Roll-a-thon

A little bit of rain

Some excitement,

Some embarassment,

And a whole lot of muscle pain...

A twist of fate

Some cheers,

Some prizes,

And an animated seasoning to taste..

...yeps that was the weekend for me!

Went for my first ever midnight roller blading and boy! was it fun! 4 hours of knee strapping ankle straining adventure:) and the best part..this was just the beginning..

Perfect 10 98.7 organised a midnight skating event at East coast park and needless to say I was there! buzzing with enthusiasm..all geared up for an adrenalin rush. From a dance on the skates, and I mean literally grooving to the tunes, to crazily flinging my arms everywhere and participating in the various competitions being held..I couldn't hide even if I'd wanted to! All the known faces of the DJ/RJ world were present in flesh and blood..there were strings and strings of skaters showing off their mind-blowing skills, loud quality music, laughter resounding the atmosphere of the moist saturday evening..and a festive feel to it all..

For me it beckoned the 'season to be jolly'...awoke the inner 'red'...and re-invented my concept of a holiday...and people...and I didn't feel I was alone for a second...

After debating and rebuttling (looking at the weather) in my mind all day, feeling tempted to forego the challenge for an evening of movie with some friends and blaming it on the rain all the while, I finally did gather my skates and get a taste of it..and it tasted good..real good...save the aching body after the night, the stiff ankles from the insane amount of time I spent "rolling" around and the detailed disection of my name..no one got it right, most made me repeat it a trillion times..and those who did, found it had an uncanny resemblance to the name of the chinese actress 'shu-qi', which was enough to trigger the humour!..ah well...it's lucky I live for humour..

All in all it was something I'm glad I went for.

What's next?..I will be surfing the roads of Singapore and painting them red with my wheels come December..with 119 other partners in crime..tired? Nah not me!

..do remind me to change my name before that though..

Yes Boss!

I was cribbing about my work this morning..and it had nothing to do with the excruciating muscle pains (thanks to the famous TBT classes) or the lousy non-stop rain or even the disturbed sleep I had with my phone constantly buzzing bringing news of my insomniatic friends! Nopes, it was none of this...it was purely work...

The boredom that you face even when you are very busy is hard to explain. It's when you feel like a snack right after lunch and sneak out in the middle of a conference call leaving the speaker on mute! Yes, now that's being purely careless about work...or should I say living on the edge!

One such story is mine. The gym in the morning which many dread is what I look forward to most. It not only keeps me awake and perky during the mundane tasks all through the day, but also rejuvinates me first thing in the morning! Who would have thought the best looking people of the world chose the same time as me, to work out everyday *grin*..ah! well the simple pleasures of life..So yes back to work. Work isn't what I would call boring. It's enough to keep me occupied, and even poses certain challenges..but at some point or the other I just feel dry....(also coz i'm indoors all day while it pours cats and dogs all week long!). Jokes apart, I am not tired of working life, I am tired of the fact that this life presents you with no more than a desk and a computer, a few laughs with colleagues, a hell lot of drinking nights and yes...an opportunity to "be professional"...

Whatever happened to out-of-the box ideas not only being reserved for interview rooms and assessment centers? I need an adrenalin rush every second day (if not everyday) and something to keep me on my toes. In the simplest of words, I want to LIVE and not just survive! Work should but only be a part of the entire existence..isn't it? I do agree that a career is important but what do you do with the rest of your life? Surely I can't die with a mouse in one hand, at a moment when I was just about to save some changes to the proposal I made, and the only thought afterwards haunting me in my grave would be "Drat! I should've saved it at regular intervals!". Well now that would not only be a sad ending, it would be a disaster!

So yes, I was (and still am) cribbing about work. Frankly, who doesn't? After a trillion discussions (which go around in circles obviously) about the same thing, listening to stories of accomplishments, pride and those of utmost misery from the people who have taken the deadly plunge into the working world, I realised that it's a norm to complain...and it's nor 'normal' if you actually enjoy your work...

There are several professions which seem "my type" and I always 'think and plan' of taking the risk and start over. This sprouts specially from the fact that the minute I mention I'm with a bank people start asking me about the exchanges rates of the day! I mean which part of the word "Bank"don't they understand..doesn't similar to a money changer to me from any angle! As for the other professions...where should I start. I make up my mind, decide on something, then come across a new offer, think again, decide again till the story repeats. Something more glamorous becomes 'this is definitely me'. Any person doing well in at a out-of-the-ordinary job (and actually sounding satisfied) creates a sudded attration for me to give it a try and I find myself obsessively surfing the web and uploading my resume at places. Then there are warm, quiet weekends when I feel life can only get as good as this and I will make the best of what I have, be a value add to what I'm doing and I'm sure one day it'll be my job! Yeah right!..

Well the flip side being of all this lies in reality..reality of working up every morning and groaning that it's another working day... the reality that your next door neighbour gets home 22 minutes before you ever can...the reality of even being able to dream of a long enough lunch break to buy yourself that perfect pair of earings from the nearby mall..the reality of sneaking in a coffee break at 4pm only to return and find a very angry set of emails staring at you..the reality of realising that every job other than your own is in bloom..is perfect..worth trying..all flower and perfume...

..till it becomes your own job...

..the reality of working life...is in realising that it must be done..

"The Re-appearance Act"

I have not blogged for a while now and decided to write something today. It's one of those 'Dry-mind' periods which come to me once a year when I have no opinions, no thoughts..all is silent and the creative person in me goes into hibernation. So, this is essentially coz I simply WANTED to write! Don't judge me...and for every lame word/sentence/phrase penned beneath..pardon me!Although, for some reason after finishing it, I feel it didn't turn out as tasteless as I'd expected:) Read on..

"The Re-appearance Act"

Down the escalator
I saw the shadow
Up I was going
Without a moment to borrow
Blushed and nervous
Expressionless, no words spoken
I stole a glance
My daily token
Same time, same place
Coincidence I believe?
But this is one opportunity
To fate I did not leave

So, I planned my day
From both sides today
But it ended the same..
..Same as every other day

Time check, style check
Even trusted my instincts
Looked for a sign
Or the smallest of links
Followed my steps closely
For the shadow again
Up and down the escalator
Leading to only pain
A beloved fool
I thought I could tame
Watch the clock
And win the Shadowy game

So, I read my mind
From both sides today
But it plotted the same..
..Same as every other day

Another day
Another chance
This time I relied
On a lucky charm
Spruced and dressed
Smiling for a dream
A wish in hand, two in mind
With a purpose I did glean
Made another trip, a mission
Two for a blessed guess
Three, just to be sure
Four..only to return shadowless

So, I looked at myself
From both sides today
But I am the same ..
..Same old idiot as every other day..

"Karma?"

For some reason it was very hard to write this one...not because I was at a loss for words, but more because I felt so much writing it...one of those days when many many things come back to you...one of those days when you have a trillion things to do but can't get them done..one of those days when you absolutely must not waste time..and so you write..=)


Clouds, cloudy, clouds and the Sun
Through the leaves of the Olive tree
The visions I try so hard to forget
Come gleaning down on me,
The smoke rushes away, away and alone
Swimming past the fragrant sea
The feelings I want so hard to leave
Go round the bend and find me,
Cold cold garden, colder today
Walking the green lane
The home I try so hard to rebuild
Comes crashing down again,
Empty, emptiness, empty all
Searching the void so vast
The shame I try so hard to lose
Recognizes my face at last.

'Twas the time of jest and joy
'Twas the past, all gone
'Twas the feeling of eccentric freedom
A feeling now alone..

Music warm, musical notes
All looking for a way
The speech I try so hard to mock
Says what it has to say,
Shade, shade and the shaded dark
Following a shadow that lied
The reflection I try so hard to wipe
Overtakes my stride
Swift, swiftly the skies are moving
Running the race but coming last
The guilt I try so hard to ruin
Climbs my shoulders fast
Moist, wet and moist life
Learning a lesson slow
The tears I try so hard to hide
Only teach me more and more.

'Twas the look of passion and pride
'Twas the morning full
'Twas the moment I became Me
Now a moment null...

"Vapour-eyes"

I had a dream
Within a dream
Where I slept soundly
No words, no thoughts
No limit, no boundary

The dream of a dream
I have ever so often
Was cousin to an illusion
Made me feel warm
Like sunrise to a setting sun

I slept some more
For in my dream I could
Build my own landscape
In my little world
I could carry a different face

When the night walked away
My dream faded
The light of the mind
Grew dim, grew down
Gone was the sleep of a child

I awoke, I was crying
Because within a dream
There isn't reality
Within a dream
Is another fantasy.

Why do people leave Anonymous comments?

I suppose it's a silly question but I could think of quite a few reasons for it..

1. They hate their names
2. They can't spell their names
3. They are not creative enough to make up a fancy funky from-the-top-off-the-head names
4. Lazy [I think this reason would have the maximum hits!]
5. Shy?? [yeeeks..if you're shy I don't even wanna know who you are! grow up!]
6. Too chicken to voice their thoughts and at the same time claim them as being their own
7. They think they're being mysterious[ooOooooh]
8. They can't admit they visited your blog coz of some whacko issues of their own![again..I don't think I would want to associate with you:p]
9. If they have a stolen comment at least the cops won't be after them
10. Can't be bothered to create a profile/ID and too darn stupid to realise the system doesn't recognise them automatically
11. Click 'submit' before they realise they haven't put a name [duuhhhhh!]
12. Have a misconception that the blogger would recognize them anyway [ha! dude/babe you're going through an identity crisis? I have many more friends u know:p]

Ah well..will keep adding if I have any more sudden revelations!=)

Any more bright sparks??Feel free to drop em in..

Reflection

Random question: Do you believe in fate?

I do. Strongly do. Not only fate but also karma. 'What goes round comes round'.Yes!..in a day, week, month or even years..

Personal experiece and a bit of faith has made me take the stand on this side...the positive side..While in a complex reflection of the same I decided to pen it down and get everyones opinion out there....

So pick your brains and shoot the comments peeps..what do YOU think??:)

"Rejuvenated"

Its a slow day today..snail slow pace..the minutes seem to be dragging..and with every tick of the clock I feel pain..pain of boredom..pain of monotony..pain of anticipation..pain of mystery..

"Rejuvinated"

Splashing the waves
An uncertain plunge I took,
Down under, waters high
And my confidence shook.

I thought..

Do I get a second chance
To tickle my brain?
An opportunity lost
Might never see my face again.


Nervous and unassuming
Daring to stand up high,
The roars continued in silence
I bade fear goodbye.

I saw..

Crowds and ribbons, cheers loud
Songs from an energetic band,
Amidst it all, someone beckoned me
To step on the winners stand.


The lost wave returned
And I tackled it with fame,
The sudden rush overtook me
And I think I heard my name.

I found..

The courage to dive in
As it was worth taking the risk,
There was my motivation..my shell
And I was at the sea again.

Pinnacle

A song I wrote for a friend (disclaimer- in 10 minutes flat...so no quality assurance *grin*).....a friend who wanted a voice for his strings.....

Miq pllleeezzz pleeeezzz puhhlllezzzz give it a tune!!!...=)


The eyes, the fear
I am not running away
I only look for something better
Even if just for a day...

Stop, look back
No one's following my song
The decision is mine
However rash..and wrong

I know I'm saying goodbye
'coz its better than a lie
I know I'm saying goodbye
and I wish I knew why...

The anxiety is suffocating
The tears are failing me
If only I could comfort you
With what I need to be..

I see your story
And hear your woes
But to fulfill my wants, reasons
I need to complete my chores..

I know I'm saying goodbye
'coz its better than a lie
I know I'm saying goodbye
and I wish I knew why...

I can't promise
I'll return to see the sunshine
This face, this sparkle
Hope I could make it mine..

The road I tread
Might make a circle round
That day, my dear
My purpose I would have found..

I know I'm saying goodbye
'coz its better than a lie
I know I'm saying goodbye
and I wish I knew why...

...mmm..I'm saying goodbye
To avoid turning dry
....I walk away...walk away...
I just hate facing a lie...

Sappy but an artist gets exxaaccttllyy what he requests for....lol...I hope it will take me to stardom one day...ahem....

Happy Bday Virgo's!

Busy time of the year! B'days B'days and some more b'days!

Since many of my friends happen to celebrate their b'days this time of the year..and may I add that it is beginning to have an adverse affect on my simple pocket..I decided to make a collective mention of them all *and save a few pennies (blush)*

..you all know who you are and this is equally for all of you..equally and specially written that it..

I think most of them have finally entered the world of mid 20's..so cheers to that!!*ouch that was not to make you feel worse;)* hehe..yes you must act adult now..and to start off on that..talk less..so I can do all the talking;) ...err like always..

Here goes nothing!

*sing*
Do dum do dum do dee
Another year! and it was free
More than a simple 365 days
Of chats, tears and whacko ways
A happy, sad, crazy time
Making merry, topped with wine
Some songs, very out of tune
Others sung to calm your mood
Wisdom, experience, if any
Brilliant discoveries many

Do dum do dum do dee
It was just meant to be
Don't think or whine or care
Keep the radiant faces you wear
Grow up, learn the ways of wit
Ok maybe just a little bit?
Moments come and moments go
There will be millions more
Celebrate your life today
And save me some cake, along the way

Do dum do dum do dee
Thank god..ure not yet thirty!*wink*

For what it was worth, hope you liked my li'l creation here =)

Happy happy birthday peeps...Love ya all..!

"Multifacial idiots"

Dis-respect, ridicule, bad breath
Equally hard to bear,
So I said in whispers clear

"Save yourself some face,
Let me take the chair..."

Defensive, justifying the deal
Opposition that came strong
Fine, i'll sit and enjoy the ride

"You with a signboard flashing 'Right'
How can you be wrong..."

Reasons none, inquisitions many
Keep a gaurd on the curiousity,
My warning sounded again..

"Appreciate the concerns,
But they're the least bit witty!"

Attitude with an altitude
Ever questioned yourself, why?
Looking around I sighed

"Put thy feet on the ground,
You're flying too high..."

Knowledge about everything
Yet know about none,
To save a human being, I said..

"There is one thing being educated,
And another murdering the fun"

The floor was thrown open
The crowd sounded dead
Clearing my throat, I smiled

"Work on that sense of humour,
Before you kill the person you wed!"

Realisation, embarassment, more bad breath
The tables strategically turned
An offer? I chuckled

"No thank you, I am fine
T'was more fun on this side of the world!"

A mate called Me

Was sitting and talking to myself *I do that when everyone else around me can bear me no more*...and I realised that the topics that mess around scott free in our heads are absolutely and directly proportional to our age..

..the older we grow..the more we have to analyse, think, dicuss, fight, appreciate, regret, plan, aspire..and the list is endless..

Everyone everywhere in the world talk the same topics and walk the same ropes, when of a certain age..and that is when it doesn't matter whether you sit with family or friends...colleagues or aquaintances..the discussions always stream down to similar grounds...

...grounds of decisons..

decisions I hate so much..and decisions that only multiply to increase my misery..

..decisions that everyone must make sometime in life..about themselves, involving others..personal or professional..minor or those which are a matter of life and death..

...and they're tough!

Specially when the minute you make up your mind..the river starts to flow the other way...and washes away every damn grain of sand you built your sand-castle from...the irony?

There is always a decision to make a decision...!

Work, marriage, studies, lifestyle, friends, family, age, finances..almost everything and anything hangs from a big question mark over our heads...and the world speaks the same language when any of these under-cover spies are brought out into the open..the language of confusion...of uncertainity...

..of...decisions..

After a while...I got too entangled in my own thoughts...which were too confusing to continue pondering over...so I got up..walked away from them all...and when I looked back I smiled...

For the first time the silence was pleasant..

...I had not been talking alone..

*Help*

"An ode to maybe"

This is one of those times
I should have taken a tough shot,
Not drawn a long question mark
For every answer I sought..

But the same result haunts everytime..
A 'Maybe..maybe not'...

Think over and over again
I go over what I've been taught,
Wipe the slate, start over
In the end I collided with a 'What'..

The end comes close..and then..
The face of 'Maybe..maybe not'..

Told one thing, interpret as another
Look for excuses bought,
People, prices, go hand in hand
I go for an intuition, let reason rot...

Amongst the confusion..the chaos
The not so friendly..'Maybe..maybe not'..

Apprehensions...anxious in doubt
Like strangers in a parking lot..
Take an acquaintance for granted
And in a rut of monotony, I get dangerously caught..

Retracing my growing steps, I feel
The misty air of 'Maybe..maybe not..'

Ask for directions, right or left?
Tie instructions in a bundle, secured with a knot,
Whichever route I take
I end up drawing circles around dots...

Say something...
...even if its.. 'Maybe..maybe not'...

Silence, followed by more silence
It's what the cowardliness brought,
The figure fades away,
I'm poorer..with another good conversation lost..

Will we meet again?
..ah..'Maybe ..maybe not'..

...Slipping away...

..and when I got down to write I couldn't...I can't...

I don't know about others, but my blogging pace had definitely slowed down. I think it's healthy as it a fresh feeling when there is a new post..but somehow I have also run out of ideas to write..

It's been a story of life with me.

When I sit down to write..create a piece of art..a piece I myself would want to read again and again..I draw a blank...

When I am busy..too busy to even eat or drink...I have ideas running through my head ..no not running..speeding..and not enough time,space or patience inbetween those thoughts and my work..to pen any of them down..

..I think it's the patience which is failing me now..not because I have an abundance of ideas at the moment..but because I am trying to chase them..find them...hunt them down..and the search is driving me desperate...which is the first of kin of impatience..

Everyone gets tired of a hobby, but what happens then hobby gets tired of the person..and skills start to fail..or fade..lose visibilty to others..

I need to rejuvinate myself.

I want to feel that inkling to grab a piece of paper (or in our case a keyboard) and go click cluck click cluck till the darkness loses it's placidity to the insanity of sound...that rush I used to get when i created something which made me smile..smile till the cheeks hurt..from pride..and accomplishment..till I feel I reach a point when I can never write again..because this is absolutely the best I have ever done...

..and then write something fuller..more beautiful..more engrossing the next time round...

I want that glow to discover me again.

..and at the end of this all I just ask myself (and you all)..

..Will I run out of ink?...ever?

"Outage"

Ambitions soaring high
Self-conviction hiding low,
Standing up straight
Never seemed so tough before..

The back hurts, revolts
The legs seem to give way,
Knees don't help, traitors two
When I run, I only run away..

Thoughts that feed, nurture the mind
Refuse to co-operate,
Hungry for excitement
The stomach waits..and waits..and waits..

I look around, for ideas new
Hear my friends say "I told you so",
Disappointed without reason
The hand's unable to do a chore..

Not stirring to my name
My identity..I'm holding it tight,
My eyes wander aimlessly
I want to see more than black and white..

Voices seem blur,faded and far
Head is being an enemy true,
As of now, just one thing
A change of life would do..

abra-ca-dabra

What happens when you mix looks, talent and magic..?....A miracle...

...and that is exactly what the name david blaine bring to your mind...a magician by profession and one at heart.....he stirs the crowds by his feats...and his charm..

...I got the idea to write this while I was perspiring away in the gym and I happened to catch a glimpse of this enchanting fella on the TV screen..apart from escaping from a near-to-disastrous treadmill accident and losing a breath...it made me wonder...

...I have always been overwhelmed by anything unrealistic..anything which could be a whim or a fantasy..and someone who can almost bring it to life is definitely a top position holder on my list of the 'cool-people-I would-wanna-be-if-I-wasn't-me' list..his skills got me thinking about how people react to out-of-the-normal incidents...

...everyone not only reacts to magic as something that cannot be anything else but a trick for the eye..a sort of hypnosis...but they also never want to believe in it..not saying that I do...but it definitely interests me..and I do think there is more to it than just what is visible to the eye...that is..more than an illusion...

It is a way to add the zing to a normally dull day...it is a way to live your dream by imagining things that you would want in reality...it is a way of entertainment...a way of life and earning their daily bread for others...in all it is fantastic...eye-opening..brings a smile to my face...and a surprise to my senses...

I wish I could do magic...cook up a ditty and *poof* make something disappear...the look on an audience when they see the spectacle is almost priceless...and to think that you have the power to own that look...and bring it out with the click of your fingers or a twist of a kerchief...exotic!

I might have gone too far dwelling into a simple tv show..and the topic...neither do I want or wish to be a genie..nor a feather swinging fluffy puffy rosy fairy..or a magician even..

..the bottomline...I just want to understand magic..

...and somewhere along the way...between it all..live a fairy tale...

...*kazaaam*..

numb-u-ccino

I feel like a toast..but surprisingly not coz I'm brown skinned or sun-burnt..but because I'm just stiff...frozen stiff..

The air con engineer support seem to have a underlying motive to chill us to death..guess it is the only entertainment they can get all day while they sit and gossip in their almost-like-a-freezer, grim-n-dim, never-visited-by-anyone room..ok on second thoughts I don't blame them...

..but nonetheless it does reduce my productivity..[surprise surprise yes I DO work!]..productivity in terms of being able to think without little specks of ice crystalising in front of my eyes..being able to type and actually feeling my fingers..enjoying a hot coffee..without a frosting!..you get the picture..

..So yes to make a long story short and cut everyone the ordeal of reading another one of my banters..my usual gibberish [and I go on and on..]..my office is cold..like cold that makes you brain dead cold..and I don't have a choice but to sit here..wearing clothings which make it look like the winter finally visited Singapore...and try and get something done..

...I just felt like cribbing..and this was the best way..

Brrrr...

St Patricks

DSCN3048
Originally uploaded by Shuchi Mittal.

Here is the much delayed but promised picture of Hercules, the globe and St. Patricks church..

it is definitely an errrr...interesting view-point;)

...Pitter-Patter..Chitter-chatter...

I got a lot of comments lately ,written,verbal and sing-along-aong types, asking me why I write about everything and anything, from mundane already-discussed-and-now-closed-for-eternity topics to exciting holidays, dance classes, work life, love life, my daily schedule and anything and everything that can be formed into a sentence and put into the form of prose or poetry..

Well when I got down to think about it..I felt I couldn't explain myself..must you always have a reason to write?

Apart from being a release, a let-away for pent up emotions,thoughts[which are millions and trillions in number],a way to keep in touch with the world specially my remote friends, it also happens to be a way of life for me..it comes rather naturally to me to be able to tune my daily life into words which can be hummed or read in a way other than a regular 'I did this today'...

...surprisingly enough [ and I know many of you will laugh your guts out when you read this] it also happens to be an alternative to talking for me..not that I don't have enough conversations to eat peoples head offs, whether at work or home, with friends of colleagues, but this is a conversation which has more verbal energy spent than physical [since those who know me realise how animated I am!]..it a conversation for which once in my lifetime I think before I talk..[at least I think I do]..a conversation in which I do happen to breathe in between, take sips of coffee or have my lunch without either of them turning cold enough to give a cucumber competition!

I can go days without food or water..but a conversation is the utmost part of my diet..my routine..and when there isn't a soul around to bear with my non-stop banter, I take to the pen and paper..my solace in almost every situation..companions for life..companions true and sincere [since they can't talk back and ask me to shutup], companions who never judge me..but only absorb..every word, every feeling and every thought that there is to absorb when I am with them...

Writing has always been fun..and I write for myself and not for others..this isn't a disclaimer for what I do..not even a justification or explanation for it..it's just another bit of the nonsensical writing..which you may or may not chose to read..I wrote it anyway...or else I would have been walking around like a headless chicken who just lost her mind of thoughts...

..thrilled and excited, musical and calm, blank yet expressive, quiet yet so much has been said..this has been the best conversation of them all..

..thanks for listening...

"House warmed"

A dusty smell, open windows
Sun-light just walked in,
Bab and baggage, to make memories new
End of silence, time to make a din...

The bed spreads are out, ornate and rich
Curtains, drape the rays, play hide & seek,
Flowers and vases, bring fragrance pleasant
Furniture new, suave & smooth, rosewood & teak...

Scrub the ambience, sweep it clean
Nip the rusty feel,with environment fresh,
Pots and pans, wind-chimes making music sweet
This will be the real life, in flesh...

People, food, noises everywhere
Smells and senses, acting sharp and acute,
Clink of glasses, celebrations
Cheers to the new treasure, the ultimate loot..

Sparkling with colours bright, shining proud
It's like magic, a wonder zone,
A welcome note compliments the smile at the door
And voila! four walls, a roof, once a house..is now a home..

"Musings of the mind"

Just something I was aimlessly jotting in between mundane stressful work...I'm not sure where it came from but for the first time I like the sound of what I wrote:) ..rather grim but I think it's the tune which grew on me..always wanted to write a song and I feel this comes closest to it...=)

Any singers /composers out there wanna give it a try at strings? ;)lol..

Yayy..TGIF!


He came in early
To be somebody that day,
Looked around, took his seat
And everyday it went the same way..

He was not a bad guy
Just had no luck on his boat,
He wanted to sail on sea
But only got till the moat..

Worked his papers
Played his guitar at lunch,
Amused himself, and his colleagues
With only a tattered ego to munch..

He was not a bad guy
Just had no luck on his boat,
Always ran a happy face
But a constant lump in his throat..

He looked the same each day
Wore his moods in clothes,
Blue on most days, green when better
Orange and red were shades to loathe..

He was not a bad guy
Just had no luck on his boat,
Kept many warm for the winter
The one with holes, was his own coat..

Packed his bag, like usual
Walked back home to the cold,
Smiled at the lady next door
She loved him, but never told...

He was not a bad guy
Just had no luck on his boat,
And the little he had, he threw it ashore
To keep himself afloat..

...Re-visited...

I'm back..with a bang..if I may say so myself..

Refreshed and rested, shopped and stimulated, fed and flaunted, rejuvinated but with a 'can't look in the mirror' shape..

Back to roller blading..back to the gym[a new exotic one!], back to settling in at home [which looks a lot better now that the cobwebs are dusted..and my brother is travelling;)!], back to blogging[ when time permits]..and back to business in all sense of the word..

The camera is on the blink ..so the pictures will have to wait for a bit...am coming up with a slide show worth the wait though:)

I'm a work-a-holic I think..I realised more than 2 weeks of holiday doing nothing would burn me out more than working regularly everyday...it could be that I was out of money..or that I longed for the familiar life...the holiday was EXOTIC! but I did breathe with a smile when I landed...

I think familiarity and comfort makes us complacent...

...maybe I just missed my friends...;) It's good to be home..

BLaaaH bBlLAh bLAahhH...

PS - Just wanted to add that I absolutely hate my previous post..I can see myself yawning when I read it..it does NOT do justice to the trip...

PPS - Did I shop? Hell yeah ! handpicked and carefully selected;)

PPS - Souveniers are absolutely the worst thing to shop for..and friends too...guys forgive me if I don't get you anything *warning is better than a beating - I still love you all*

PPPS - No more thoughts..watch out for some more snaps soon..

PPPPS - Yawn..was just reading the post again...

..Auf Weidersehn...

I was going to write this on my way back...but apart from the depression of the end of an excellent holiday, jet lag and the fact that I have so much work when I get back, I couldn't think of anything else that I would be thinking about in the plane. So to prevent this from being an ill written, grief stricken, panick filled, dry old post, I decided to write it now....my last night in NY...[not that I'm anymore happy right now]

Where do I start....

Finally saw the great 60 wall street today..and for those who don't work with me, that's the grand DB office here..and man was that an experience..after 9/11 the authorities are extremely strict so from being let into the building to getting access and sneaking up to a level that I wasn't allowed to go to..it was a ride by itself..and the view...breathtaking! Kind of sad but the no-more-WTC has cleared the view for a whole lot of buildings down there!...and of course the souveniers have depreciated in price..which is probably the only 2 good things which came out of that disaster...for the rest, you can still feel the sting of the 9/11 incident..and the floating tension all the time..and of course it remains a rather touchy topic..and rightfully so..

As for the rest of the days...I did more and saw more than I thought I was capable of. The same things that confused me the first day became a part of my normal conversations from the 3rd day...I even gave someone directions when I was completely lost of where I wanted to go myself...pure shot of luck but well what more can I say...the subway is something that still confuses me..and i managed to go over the Manhattan bridge all the way to Brooklyn today when all I needed to do was take a bus down 4 stops...live and learn I guess....but the bridge was beautiful..so nothing lost...

The city is...hmm in the simplest of words...buzzing and enchanting..I think I did mention this before but I never thought I could spend an entire week...or rather 8 days in a new city all by myself and cover it mostly on foot[ except the last day when my legs have given up!]...I have been to almost every corner...every street..every avenue..every sqaure..every coffee shop..every monument etc etc here..and even repeated a few!! It was a thrilling feeling to stand at a crossing..looking very lost and touristy ..gazing at the high buildings...and when someone asked if they could help me all I said was.." I wish you could but I'm not sure where I wanna go myself..at the moment..am thinking about it though!"..:) and that is something that happened almost all the time...its great to have no agenda...and all the time...to do nothing...in a place where there is always something to do..no matter how long you have lived here...and that is something that can never be explained..but must be tasted....

From street performances to mock-fight dances, from alley markets to green farmer stalls, from organic whole foods to exquisite cuisines, from parties to quiet times, from coffees to wines, from sight-seeing to soaking the atmosphere, from mornings to late-evenings, from shopping to rejoicing, from hand picked strawberries to fried hot-dogs, from friends to colleagues...I had the best blend of everything...and each was served on a platter unique, refreshing and yet familiar...In all I had a great time..needless to say the weighing scale agrees with me on that;)

...this post hasn't turned out half as exciting as I'd hoped it would be..but then, for once in my lifetime I can't put something into words....and I can't show the world my expressions...

It would be right to say...I feel expressively inert...

..But the story doesn't end here...I will most definitely talk about this for a long time to come[beware all those excited to see me again!:P] coz it has tickled me in a lot of ways..and stirred a lot of new thoughts....

..I have my NY thinking cap on...blue stars,red stripes and all...

NY skyline 2

NY skyline 2
Originally uploaded by Shuchi Mittal.

And lastly this is what NY looks from the waters...

Quite nice if I may say so...I;m reallyyyyy impressed by the city...

..of course not coz of this skyline but the city is..ALIVE! everyday makes me wanna be here longer:)

4 days and NOT counting..hehe..

Here it is!!

Here it is!!
Originally uploaded by Shuchi Mittal.

Statue of liberty is here:) Dun know what the hype is all about..,but the entire tour was worth it..they sure know how to make something simple vErY interesting!

I'm starting to like these people..hehe..

Empire State Building

DSCN2993
Originally uploaded by Shuchi Mittal.

Sadly closed for viewing but the building itself is massive...:)

Will open on saturday for the public..but its a minimum 4-5 hour wait..and errrr I just dun have tht much patience:)

New York Shew York and all...

...and yes the second day did look up:)!

I walked and walked and talked and talked [ as expected] ran through madison, 42nd and 43rd, 5th and the 14th, Times square, Central park, Union sqaure, Soho..etc etc....dun get caught up in the number jargon..am just pure showing off;) lol...

The numbers here seem to be living..every number has it's identity and everyone seems to understand a simple 'I'll meet you at 14th 5'...which would essentially mean 14th street and 5th avenue...they all run criss cross to each other...and the streets are the bigger ones and the avenues are the small narrower ones...mostly all one ways so you need to know your way around and even the natives get lost..so I have all the excuses in the world to errr...falter..:)

My friend showed me around all day...the lazy slacking silly stupid messy 'girl on the next bed' from school surprised when she told me to put on my walking shoes coz she will tire me out today! Her and walk! ha right....well I sure was mistaken...guess NY changes everyone..and then of course she's married....*grin*..and she's even more whacko now..in a mellowed sorta way but her cooking aloo gobi..something I can't swallow..!hehe

So we galloped and pranced through town and she had more bags than me when we got back home....hmm I need to do something about that so I'm on a mission tomorrow...will shop till I drop...my excuse? I'm on holiday! I was wrong yesterday...NY like delhi...no ways!!!!! How the night gives wrong impressions...Times sqaure has got to be the MOST lively places ever..there were concerts and we had to literally sift our way through roller bladers [I was soooOoo jealous!], shop-o-holics, sunday celebraters, people...regular people..just people people and more people...and then we landed up in the most crazy street fair on the 42nd, with loud eqyptian music..and FOOD...more than you can imagine...from burritos to shakes, from kebabs to thai soups...it was everywhere..and calling out loud and strong..so I did give in...cmon..I'm on holiday;)..**my official excuse for EVERYTHING I do and will be doing for the next week!**..the subway here is allright, of course nowhere near Singapore but then it's a jungle..and how many times do you hear of a train serving animals? Yes sir, it's dirty and confusing and goes levels below the ground..but it serves it's purpose..it's way more efficient than the one in London, and definitely more regular....as for the animals...no comments..they're cute animals though;)

I did wear out my shoes, only to decide that I will use them even more tomorrow..called in an early day coz had to catch up with another friend..it's amazing when you meet the same people you were with in school and feel you just saw them yesterday...when it's been 5 years...I guess it's a good thing:)

Agenda for tomorrow:
Wake up [duhh]
Walk to Union sqaure
Roam around Central park..and have an american breakfast pretzel[ it's a must have]..yumm I can taste and smell it already...lol
Shop..walk around..be a tourist...take pictures..
Meet Anica[a friend] for late lunch or coffee
Take it from there..

On the to do list:
See Statue of Liberty [of course! though Manhattan and Times Sq. is sooo tempting me to forget being a tourist and just bum around and enjoy the city!]
See a broadway show-going for it soon.
Go up the Empire state building
Take a day NY bus tour[maybe-I prefer using my feet for what they're best at..walking]
Times square lunch with friends
Meet colleagues[ahem]
See the Deutsche Bank office in the Financial district
Shop more...yes I'm planning to go bankrupt...so all of you be ready to lend me $ when I'm back;)!

Both the coasts are cultures apart...Seattle was gorgeous..NY is eccentric!

The city is crazy...it's alive..not the people but the city itself! People merely live the craze...

I can't keep up with the pace already...so tomorrow I will start my day early...and hopefully by the time I reach mid day I would have overtaken a New Yorker...

PS- I'm loving it..!

Chruch at 5th-NY

Chruch at 5th-NY
Originally uploaded by Shuchi Mittal.

My first picture in NY...

A street church on 5th Avenue...one thing the Americans NEVER miss out is their flag..

..dare you forget where you are!

New york moon

New york moon
Originally uploaded by Shuchi Mittal.

That's the first glimpse of New York from the plane...

..the new york moon...and belive it or not..it was 10 pm:)

...Seattle-An allergy for keeps...

"Welcome all aboard JetBlue Flight 176 to New York..."

...and I smiled..and mentally checked off a box next to which it said in bold- "Seattle".

I had a wonderful host [hey thanks u:)]..specially coz I landed after a 19 hour flight with no one to talk too..there is limited silence I can take..and boy! 2 words..poor him! I would be scared if I were him coz I think I bored myself talking..lol..nothing new but well...*grin*..

4 days..and was it bliss!!...Sunlight beckoned me, a sure shot relief from the hot and humid everyday story..and I was rejuvinated instantly!...no photographs,vidoes, stories,descriptions,blog entries etc can do it justice...Picturesque, friendly, bright[not always but I was PURE lucky!],swarming with enthusiasm, vibrant....Seattle is all this and more..I didn't know where to start but thoughts started to pour from my ears as soon as the plane took off from the runway..and I penned it down, much to my amazement, probably all I did while I was in air...

Home to Starbucks and Microsoft [now u know why techies need coffee], it is a mysterious city which I mostly covered on foot...hey no ..wait a second..I DID cover it on foot. It has the perfect blend of weather and sights, with mountain ranges and lakes, eateries and cafes, punk shops and elite areas, piercings and fashion, antiques and sophistication, beach and bridges, and the sky scraping downtown harbour area. I ran into places with the most absurd names like 'Mission of life-Bread' which was a bakery, and '65 ways to make my burrito'-Mexican of course..there were busker performances which were absolutely mind blowing, and mostly done for charity. I even did a bit of salsa on the street while a guy hummed some fancy latino music..Was I shy? don't think Seattle has heard that word ever before..and they make sure you leave it at home when you roam the streets!:)..

I can only try and sum up my days as eating or walking, walking or eating or both..I was sleepless, not because I was jetlagged but the enthusiasm, ambience and the long hours of brightness[6 am to 930 pm at least] were responsible for it..of course the gallons of coffee and tonnes of food that was being taken in also added to the bit of insomnia..;)...

Apart from the quaint city environment, another thing that got it big chunky chewy goooey brownie points from me was shopping! Something that is in every girls "must-do-travel kit"...I didn't shop as much as I enjoyed the experience of shopping. The sales people are so fun! Why? coz they talk! and do their jobs with a passion..almost felt like a different continent..eeks it is a different continent..hmmm almost felt like a different planet...hell Singapore could learn some of those skills!

So that was the west coast...and now 2:00 am I sit in the city known as the city of the world..New York...all set to explore and experience more...starting tomorrow I will not give my feet a rest..or my mouth..! specially coz I'm catching up with some of my bessstesssttt buddies tomo..:)..So far so good..caught a glimpse of the much talked about Empire State Building and of course The Statue of Liberty, as we drove down from the JFK airport to Manhattan, via Queens......hmmm and err first impressions..looking around me now I could swear I was in a Delhi DDA colony..

Tomorrow better look up..I didn't pay through my nose and travel half way across the globe to see how you could 'feel at home' in NY....

:)Nitezz.z.z.z..z.z.zZz.z.zZ..z.....

Mt Rainier at it's best-Paradise

snowwwww...
Originally uploaded by Shuchi Mittal.

...and yessss that is snooowww:)..!!

That's me slipping and avoiding a fall coz all I had on was a windsheeter..whoever thought there could be snow in 'summer'..!!

They call this place the Paradise..and truly so...=)

The insterstate freeway-seattle

The insterstate freeway-seattle
Originally uploaded by Shuchi Mittal.

It's amazing how a regular freeway [like the PIE] can look so...hmmm..enchanting:)

Drive to Mt rainier-Seattle

Drive to Mt rainier-Seattle
Originally uploaded by Shuchi Mittal.

That's en route to Mt Rainier, an active volcano near Seattle. The picture does NOT do justice to how exhilirating it actually was:). Sadly my camera died on the way so the better snaps are on the phone..

Homer

Homer
Originally uploaded by Shuchi Mittal.

...ahem this one's for Gayatri..!:)

A brave dog called homer who I luckily got aquainted to before I went on top of the space needle..he had had a worse day than I had!..he had been in a 9 hour flight..walked thru seattle..and was going to go up the needle 600+ feet up! poor fella..talk about a high flying dog;)

Seattle

Seattle
Originally uploaded by Shuchi Mittal.

...and a view of downtown Seattle itself...from across Lake Union...

This place is GORGEOUS!

Mount rainier-seattle

Mount rainier-seattle
Originally uploaded by Shuchi Mittal.

Been meaning to blog something..but well after 3 days here I have time just for this. This is the view of Mount Rainier (an active volcano near seattle) from top of what they call the space needle observation deck (or the O-deck). Its breathtaking..and brrrrr...collldd..:)

..Puppy dog love..

I am sure all of us have, at one time or another, got that starry eyed, airy feeling ..the feeling of a crush..a stupid silly teenage crush...crush that disappears just as fast as it hits you...

Along with itself it brings a smile that sits in all its might on the face,and the realisation that it might expose you, does not even help to wipe it...

It's a feeling I can't explain..or don't need to as there isn't anyone who doesn't have their own experiences to share...and their own parcel of grins and chuckles...own little ' I want attention' tactics used from time to time...own stories which take you beyond yourself when you recall them at a later age...own own own list of crushes..a list so long you could read it all day and not find time to blush inbetween...

Love and relationships are nice...but I think the feeling of a crush is superb...it's young, chocolaty, silly, irrationale, short-term, warm, tingly, baseless, giggly...

The best thing about them...theyre nothing! its a feeling which comes like day and is gone with the moon...or a long one would hmm..maybe wait till sunrise...I always thought it was dependent on age...and I was well beyond them...

Well apparently not.....the 'extra effort to laugh at the jokes', 'stand around casually and make conversation', 'try and get noticed', 'Oh i'll help you with that', ' Hmmm what is he talking to HER about'..etc etc peeped at me suddenly...and I didn't feel the pinch till a friend, who turned 23 today[ Happy happy b'day to her..=)!], pointed it out...

..First I ignored it..then I denied it...and as I looked back, contemplated on my actions, did a rewind and play..I finally accepted it...

....feels great! I think I turned 15 with her today....

"The morning after"

A day..a regular day...

Tinkle bells & twiddle toes
All left at home sweet home,
Shirts and blazers, hair in place
Time to walk into the 'tune and tough up' zone..

A rush...not an adrenalin rush..

The world outside, chuckling and ridiculing me
Seems too far away,
It's only a window in between, a hands stretch
But it's like tomorrow looking at today..

A void..just a silent void..

I hear voices somewhere, floating around
Like droplets afloat in the air,
I pick on the keywords, fewer than my thoughts
And the rest pass through, unaware..

An interruption..a welcome interruption..

Buzz..buzz..what's that noise? somewhere close?
I search frantically, I'm half asleep,
Suddenly the scene transforms before my eyes
And Dawn is only beginning it's creep..

A pause..a sudden pause..

Never happened to me ever before, a surprise
It's like winning even before placing a bet,
I'm living, already lived, a few terrified minutes
Of a day...that isn't even here yet...

"Stuck in a rut"

Hot coffee, cold milk
Never understood how it can be had,
A quick gulp, a soggy sandwich
And the days ordeal began..

Room full of familiar strangers
"Hello again, how are we doing today?",
A hug, a shake,kiss with a forced smile
Just something I had to do and say..

A glance around, introductions
And the guy starts to speak,
A droning voice, a sleepy state
My eyes start to feel influenced, and weak..

The breaks take forever to come
And pass away just as fast,
I start to doubt my endurance
Help!he's not funny, and I can't last!..

Catching my neighbour,sneak a nap
I give her a quiet, un-noticed knock,
Realisation dawns, awake with a jolt
She looks at me, wide eyed, in pure innocent shock..

Evening at last, time to let the hair down
A social gathering, no frills
Drinks and food, food and drinks
Ah!this is the part of training that thrills..

Play seems better than work, I thought
And gave my conscience a mighty tug,
I definitely don't have it in me
To be a work-all-day,Mr. straight-face, no-life Corporate Bug..


...and it's only Day 1!

....Pain comes in multiple packages...

The weekend is here..the one I was dreading the entire week...entire month..in fact for the past 11 months..

Packing has got to be one of the worst tasks that was developed as a result of the want to improve one's livelihood, or due to the dire need to change one's lifestyle....and house...

It's a cumbersome, boring and an extremely tiring job ..specially for women. We tend to have things proportional to the area in which we live. So if there is a bigger room or house, our possessions multiply accordingly. Every-time we go shopping, we unfailingly manage to spot another beauty that would fit perfectly well in a corner that is already blessed with four or five other smiling artifacts..and we then sigh seeing the amount of stuff waiting to be stored away...yet the story repeats..again ..and again...

Also our sentimental nature keeps us from throwing away almost anything..however old, tattered or meaningless..just when you think you managed to do a good work cleaning up, a memory pops up its head, in a form that is no longer treasured or errrmm ....recognizable....

But I've learnt to live with that trait....coz it's complimented with another quality..the quality to plan..not the purchases but organizing the packing..

I made a list of everything which I absolutely and definitely won't need to use immediately, in order of preference and importance, and decided to start packing from the top.

In the process I made an important discovery. The maximum amount of time that I spend with any of the things I own is when I'm packing or unpacking them, for the simple reason that I don't even know I possess them for the rest of the year..there were things from my school hostel, university lab work, old friends, torn phone bills, post-it-notes with shopping lists scribbled on them, pens and highlighters with dried ink [i'm a stationary junkie!], various badges for charity work, little souvenirs and gifts from people which are way too ugly to keep yet again[just to make them happy], calculators [which are now historic and probably have an antique value], empty nail polish bottles, millions and millions of teeny weeny free face creams, masks, body mists, hand and nail creams, face wash, scrubs, toothpaste tubes, etc etc collected over the various shopping trips, which added to the numbers of my other significantly large belongings..

Finally, the boxes were brought out, the bags we pulled out of the storage space..and the long-avoided, much-awaited ordeal began..

I took a deep breath and opened the doors to my treasures...the result....

Whatever was neatly kept inside my wardrobes and drawers now occupies a unique shiny spot outside...in the exact form and pile size as before...

Magic? or did my planning just pinch me hard?

"Picture perforated"

I zipped into office
And with the same speed zipped out,
Grabbed my money and keys
And let out a loud shout..

"Clear the way, call the cab"
I must get going fast,can't be late,
Need to make it there by 2pm
And read the writings of fate..

My cab pulled up, huffing and puffing I ran
Stared at the officer by the door,
He just stood there like a dummy
A stiff face, a mere bore..

Determined to make myself heard
I spoke to him loud and clear,
Told him my purpose of visit
Even cracked a joke in good cheer..

"I'm here for collection, coupon and all
As much on time as I can be",
Not seeming convinced, he yawned
So I thrust my watch in his face to see..

Signalling me to pause
No partiality, firm to the core,
He gave me a look absurd, "calm down"
Which planet I came from, he wasn't sure..

A 15 minute wait, finally I was ushered in
Through the many gates of steel,
The ordeal was all forgotten, forgiven
When I saw the exotic ten year deal..

Without a plane ticket in hand
And my holiday still being 2 weeks away,
I soar the skies, no airport in sight
'Coz I got my licence to fly today..

..Whats in a name..

Was in the gym this morning and had a vague thought, while on the run...

What is in a name...?

There was a story I read once based on a chinese folktale, and there was a name in it which I can't get out of my head..Tikki Tikki Tinbo Nosi Nimbo Hoi POi Puski Poi Pando Hikki Pan Pan Nikki Nomi Adam Poi..!
Yes, that was the entire name..and the poor guy almost drowned to death because the gardener took very long to call out and warn him (for obvious reasons)...*giggle*..quite ridiculous come to think of it..but it had a point..

How and why do people chose the names they do, apart from the meaning...?

My name for one has a life of it's own. Till date no-one except my parents (who also have a slip of toungue now and then) have been able to pronounce my name,spell it or call it out properly. I'm so used to it now that I don't even realise the spelling mistakes or wrong pronounciations till someone else points it out! So much so that I've totally given up correcting anyone and I respong almost to any sound I hear...

To list them out, the few famous ones are shu [for ease of simplicity], sushi, suchee, schucchi[ ze germans of course], shushi, shucci, sujee[which time and again is changed to 'rava' for fun!]..and a classic chushi [ talk about role reversal!]...

I have now developed the art to relate to ...

Japanese food ,since my name is mistaken everytime i'm out to eat sushi, with thrilled looks of familiarity on the faces of the restaurant staff...
Chinese names, with the ever frequent mention of shu qi [the famous errrm star!],with a wide grin hanging over the person I'm being introduced to(waiting to break out into a chuckle)...
A german shoe [ since it's called a schuh]....
Shhhh...well for a simple reason that I think someone might be calling out to me....
Ahh..shooo...a sneeze [deliberate or genuine] that fools me everytime!I little far fetched you'd say..but true..
Almost every second word in mandarin since sh and ch are the main syllables in their entire language..so if u find me frantically turnin my head around like a mad cap..don't fret..I'm just trying to figure out who called out to me..if at all..

Whatever meaning my name proudly carried on its shoulders is ruined, smothered, beaten and hung every single day...and I watch it happen without a tear in my eye anymore..

..it was officially declared dead the day I picked up the phone and took 5 minutes just to say ' Hi shuchi speaking'..!

I concluded [ along with my run] that it doesn't matter what you're called as long as you recognise the various sounds, pitches, tones, noises etc etc that could be your name..not something everyone didn't already know..but who said I was on the path to discovery anyway...

was a thought..random...

..just as random as I feel this morning..I need my caffeine shot...

...Spring in my feet...

Tring a ling a ling
Today I feel I can sing
Happy and excited as a bee
On a hoppity hop holiday spree..

Refreshing my screen time and again
Till 6 pm I need to act sane
And then it's the friday flavour
And the talks and friends I can savour..

Soon it will be the next week
And then the next, and finally the one I seek
Grinning from ear to ear, aloud
Quiet, but inside I scream and shout..

Flying high or flying low
I'm sure where I wanna go
Across the waters, soaring fast
I'll see my darlings, at last..

Re-live the old days
In whacky, crazy and lovely ways
Beware, I will be talking soon
From the night before, till noon..

Chitter chatter like the rain
Forget work, any dreadful pain
Even with grey clouds it'll be sunny
Till I finally run out of money..

Return refreshed, hopefully smile
Tick tock,tick tock, it'll only be a while
When oh when will the time come
Waiting is making me numb..

Happy, excited, like a diamond bright
One of those days when things go right
Tring a ling a ling
Today I know I can sing..

=)! shine on peeps..its the weekend!!...

"To possibilities and beyond"

I run..

Taking careful aim, a calculated distance
A chase begins,

To the far away destination I run
Into the radiant darkness I run

Passing familiar ground
And places I grew up in
A face lights up at me
I carry on, I must win..

Breathing hard, breathing loud I run
Pacing my time, I run

The neighbourhood school
With cattle, and tinkle of bells grand
I see my innocence, my friend
Perspiring, at the crossroad I land..

Four directions, four lives, I run
Without turning back, I run

Whatever I had taught the past
Is all for keeps
It can't catch up with me
I move in leaps..

The old times stop me, I run
Into the future so hollow, I run

I see a point in the sky following me
I will not return to see it again
I start to look for my shadow
But it disappears into a lane..

Into the evening sun, I run
Talking to my strength, I run

A fresh drink of water
And a quick look around
The search has come alive
In a world, concrete bound..

Amidst the commotion, I run
Towards the reflections, I run

In a building of glass I glare
My image stands tall, in-charge
Suddenly the purpose is lost
I ran into my illusion, a mirage..

I stop, I think, it's no longer fun
I have run out of the will to run

This is what I have moved on to
The past collects dust on the shelf
I feel tired, drained,
Yet, to fulfill the promise to self..

I run..

...Nibbles...

All holiday trips make me ponder..wide eyed and with a look airy and lost..

This one not only made me think..it got me amused...at the possibilties and extent to which I could think!

Have you ever felt saturated of meeting new people?
I did..

I know so many people from different walks of life..school,college,activities,work,blogging,online,friends' friend, friends' friends' friend, casual aquaintances, salsa buddies etc etc..and I realised I couldn't fit anymore in..I hardly do justice to all of them leave alone make new ones...I don't appreciate a 'meet,eat and leave' routine. Don't get me wrong, I am not adverse to the idea of making friends, of course that is fun and always welcome, the cliche lies somewhere else...

..It's what they bring with them. Each new buddy tells you something new about yourself, something you crave to have or be, something you should want, something you must realise is important, something you must change, something you could try, something you need...
..but sadly it doesn't boost the ego everytime. It's hard enough making decisions , and then someone comes along and tosses down the firm pile with just a whiff of a suggestion. The thoughts come crashing to a realisation which is hard to digest at times...there are people who impress you, who scare you, who comfort you, who need you, who would listen, who would appreciate, who can critisize, who will lie, who tell a truth that pricks, who see through you, who talk to you and you never want to stop talking, who instigate you, who set up a challenge worth risking, who warn you, who play around, who you idolise, and those who become friends....and you start to think like someone you don't want to be..never occured to you that you wanted to be..but now are..

Maybe I'm fickle minded..(ah who am I kidding..I am fickle minded...), maybe i'm easily impressed, maybe i'm naive to the extent of stupidity, maybe the grass is greener on the other side..and the only way to cross over is decide which route to take..maybe I hate making up my mind so much that when someone tries to make me re-think my decisions..I feel intimidated..maybe I find it hard to accept that I should try harder..and I can do better, maybe..just maybe I already know what all these tells me or hints at..but I've always managed to ignore it..and now it stares at me right in the face...whatever it is..all I know is every meeting makes me trash my perceptions and I tear a fresh blank sheet of paper all over again..

To cut the long story short(yeah after I've already written so much! lol) every new person means a new story..which brings in new perpectives and errr..new decisions..

The Coulds, Woulds, Buts, Shoulds, Ifs perform a traumatising dance around me..whilst, armed with an invisible pen, I stare at the bin, the bin which is full now..and the next crumpled paper in will make it overflow..

..I am rambling now...I shall stop..I am so confused I feel jetlagged...

"Planned Accidents"

A few calls, and many messages frantic
An attempt to improve my mundane view,
Finally the phone rings, a reply, and answer much awaited
And I collide with something new...

A reserved meeting breaks lose
On the highest peak, a point above me,
A sudden attraction, a thought irrational
And I collide with something I want to be...

The scene changes, the room gets dimmer
Voices and laughter, the silence by which many live
The drinks slide down the throat, a trance
And I collide with something impressive...

My head starts churning ideas
Thoughts flow as people, in and out, words stream,
Music blocks my vision, only one in focus
And I collide with something of a dream...

Sanity leaves me, innocence now felt stupid
The realization of an amateur, a passive child,
Even the best fall down sometimes, I fall hard,
And I collide with something wild...

As the hands turn swiftly, time passes by
The ride continues, full control of the wheel,
Signs, glares, conversations everywhere, I just listen,
And I collide with something I can't feel...

The unwelcome Honesty shows it's bragging face
But with each wave of a gesture, aspirations rise, a smile,
The mood becomes comfortable, rhythms echo
And I collide into something worthwhile...

No promises faithful, not even an attempt to please
No scope for partiality, a genuinely truthful liar,
A reluctant goodbye breaks the dawn, abrupt, but fresh
And I collide with something which lights a new fire..

HongKong trip

Im back!!...2 days in HongKong...returned in one piece...definitely re-charged, if not refreshed!

I was going to blog my trip...but I think it would be boring considering how many of you would actually want to read which shops I visited and what I ate for lunch and how many kms I walked...so well here is a run through of my trip..and the snaps will follow later...

The trip: Flight to Macau..the most unexpected airport ever, a runway surrounded by the sea on either side...gorgeous!Ferry to HK...no sea sickness thank god..! Glad the ferry happened...the view of HK was brilliant...

HK: It's a lego city really...blocks and blocks and blocks..stuffed into any and every space they can find..an impressive and not so impressive architecture...a big british influence is very evident! Lots of old buildings...twisted subways...big showrooms...little shops...dirty streets...touristy shows..leaky air con's [hell yeah...it almost felt it was raining everywhere]..amusing hawkers and a definite love for mangoes! Hilly to a certain extent..the best part...the skyline! Absolutely breath-taking...brownie points and a basket of fresh red succulent strawberries to that!

Our hotel.. Ugly but reasonable, the owner talked too much[yes even I'm complaining!!], wifi which didn't work, lifts with staring people..
Upside was, it was clean, safe, and I was never there...period.

In a nutshell, we walked and walked and walked and walked...saw the touristy stuff, did the touristy talks, looked like clubbing tourists[maps and backpacks were difficult to conceal], shopped a little, spoke loudly and exclaimed at everything like tourists, went up the peak, had a tourist snap and dinner, came down the peak and walked around like tourists, saw the longest escalator [think in the world? errm duh] and commented on the lifestyle like tourists, not to forget got lost, asked for directions and ended up in a cab[like tourists], roped in a friend to show us around and embarrased the daylights out of him with ridiculous tourity questions...!

Next day, a ferry back to Macau and then the flight to Singapore..2 days with an average of 3 hours of sleep and a considerable amount of alcohol..needless to say we were snoring all the way back , zombies without a care in the world[apart from getting to our various modes of transports]..and thanks to a kicking noisy kid, with a big head and no manners, sitting behind us in the plane, the sleep was rather animated and unsatisfacory..yawwnn

Well...whatever said and done..it was fun...I can proudly say I'm more tired than I generally am on regular weekends..but it was worth every drop!

Gained: Leg ache, insomniatic head swirls, an empty bank account, another tick on my 'country's to be visited list', lots and lots and lots of random thoughts[ which i'll blog soon] and the taste of the best margarita's ever...the stylish glasses included...now smiling proudly in my kitchen cabinet:)

The mercy pills

This is not going to be a medical thesis about a pill you should or should not pop in everytime you feel under the weather or to avoid feeling under the weather or well to avoid the weather's toll on you...it's a simple jot of feelings...

..feelings so overwhelming that no pills help...feelings nonsensical and absurd..when I find myself smiling like a jackass first thing in the morning even though my back feels sore and I must get to work in 20 mins...or when I find myself sulking just because the leggy female who crossed me looked me up and down condescendingly, and said to her friend in a chuckle..."gosh she could do with some weight loss...and new shoes!"..yeah yeah she didn't say it...but she could've...!

Someone once commented that I am better off with a dagger in my hand..than with these emotions being emitted periodically..in the most ridiculous forms..I feel sad..and I grin endlessly...I feel cheerful and excited as though this has been my best day ever, and as the evening fades in I find myself teary...Stop!.don't flow..there is no reason for you to show them...control...breathe...ah! all in vain...they trickle down anyway....and half hour later the grin is back on..

Sometimes I feel devious..at others the biggest halo shines upon my forehead...serious! you can see it a mile away..a radiant white glow..mischievous yet angelic...if you're lucky I might even buy you lunch..

It's almost like a million different parts I play in a day..or an audition i'm up for where I am supposed to display my skills to emote...with or without a stimulus.

Draining to the core...and frustrating coz it's one thing I don't have control over...[apart from my job, my hair, my weight, my skin, my looks, my teeth, my legs, my eyelashes, my moves..err my life]...the few dreaded days wane away slowly...and no one notices..no one pays me a compliment...no one stays out of my way[for the sake of their own health and well being mind you.]..and no one takes the warnings seriously...it's a self invite to death...if not worse...remember the dagger is not just figurative!

It's a curse...a drag for life...worse than a rip in your favourite dress just before a night out...a run in your stalkings...an egg 'sunny side up' ... it's a Permanent Mental Situation...

Remedy...none really...
Self defence..hmmm smile at me and don't expect me to smile back...don't talk but dare you tell me to shutup...

....a packet of MnM's is all I need to regain my sanity...and I'm back in action..for the time being at least..till the bug surfaces again..in one form or another..a spike of energy and a momentary sugar rush...

....Nothing like drowning your sorrows in colour....

NTU Graduation 2004

adba
Originally uploaded by Shuchi Mittal.

I graduated...and nobody warned me...

GTP 2004

Picture 041
Originally uploaded by Shuchi Mittal.

And another...

The Graduate Trainee Batch of 2004-Deutsche Bank...the Singapore hires...

3 times Welham..

frends fr-eva!
Originally uploaded by Shuchi Mittal.

Just decided to upload a nostalgic snap..:) I miss schooolllll...

From the right..vatsala, reema and yours truly..

"Stage fright"

Long ago, on a wooden stage, I once saw a play
Of struggle, family, laughter and people's cruel ways,

Ways unnerving, yet realistice, ways truthful, yet demeaning..

Attention was played by someone who was always managed to hide
Everytime the characters sought a piece of her, she resisted, and cried,

Cried for herself, in tears silver, cried for others, with reasons bitter..

Possessiveness always screamed too loud, couldn't play her part as well
She needed to put herself in others shoes, and she didn't, I could tell,

Tell from her eyes,shedding selfish light, tell from her looks, being naive..

Care and Concern were siblings, dressed pink, hair done up in pins
If they were any more alike, I swear I would've thought they're twins,

Alike in ways of nature,manners and all, alike for strangers, otherwise apart..

Others walked around the stage, casual and confident, as if meant to be
I suddenly saw a character that almost.. no it did..it did look like me!

Same fears, reserved thoughts, same talk, to hide underneath it all..

Smile hovered around for long, she clothed it well, even made it fight with a Frown
A scuffle she resented, if it were upto her, she would've always played clown,

A clown,seen frivolous,clowning for the world, for her a way to be free..

Half way through, I stood up and walked away unacceptably,unnoticed and slow
Surrounded by emotions,was I like the rest? a mere character, a regular john doe?

Common for you,craving the same, commonly common, but maybe..unique.. ?

...It's never too far...

Music in my ears...and wind in my hair...

Saturday once again, and it was perfect for a day at the beach...and to roller blade...

I gathered my blades, gear and all, and pulled myself up for some leg-straining, head shaking, butt-moving activity!
It was a chase...chase for speed, chase of passion, chase against the rain, chase in time, chase for momentum, chase of familiar faces and a chase for completion...the finish line..

I could feel the beats growing on me as I glided through the air more freely, more confident and more in control.I was now one of those who could casually use their mobiles while smiling and still cutting through the air...I was showing off! A big achievement!

Did manage to stop as well, even thought it was 1/2 a km past the stopping spot in vision!..Ah well no-ones perfect...I'll get there someday..

So with the swoosh of the blades, glares from fellow bladers [ which were returned with pleasure], and a ticking clock, I went on ...and on...and on..left..right..slide..on..and on and...on...eyes fixated ahead...and heavy breathing..on and on ...and on...

I looked at my watch...almost there...almost close to the target...

After a few hours of toil, sweat, building hunger and a rather rhythmic attempt at a display of 'roll with no fall', I decided to call it a day...

....what else could I do...the chase was over...the looker had finally decided to return his rented bike and head home..

Darn!

"Caught by credit"

I was walking by the kitchen sidewalk, ready for a shopping spree
When all of a sudden I stopped short, an idea struck me..
Enthusiastic and motivated I rushed home again
Toppled over my entire wardrobe, but it was all in vain..
Not a trace of what I was looking for, in corners high and low
Even when I scanned my clothes one by one, and did it mighty slow ..
But seated in that pile of colour, and labels of great fame
I felt like they told me a story, and each had a name..
There was the Winter Camp, by Tracks and Shirt White
Also the School Beach Outing, by Floral Cotton Light..
The Evening Dance Class, was narrated by Tunic Pink
And the Formal Ball Day, by the luscious Stole of Mink..
I could hear Girls' Day Out, by Jeans and Ribbons Blue
When Slumber Party was shouted out loud, by Pajama, in satin true..
As all those days flooded back, I nearly forgot why I was there
And with all those flashbacks around me, I suddenly felt bare..
I had come to clear my collection, before the entries new
Thinking I could donate the not-with-it old rags, whether many or few..
While those times whispered back to me, I changed my mind fast
The atmosphere and I connected, to a time innocent and chaste..
It was more than just my smiles, or friends or tricks so fun
It was a flavour old, yet unforgettable, a breeze that only flowed once..
And while I almost uprooted it all, and killed the bygone Me
In the process I rediscovered, the life that used to be..
With care immense I folded them all, and restored them to their place of rest
That's where they always belonged, where they looked their best..
So instead of splurging recklessly, and adding stories more
That day I sat with my past, and anchored old memories to shore..


This is my friday ditty...

...also justification of why I need more wardrobe space..;)

That shopping spree will happen sometime..it's just on hold..

Time out

I feel numb...

I think I may have over-stressed my brain to think n think n think and write and write and write..

There now seems to be a struggle between my own thoughts and expectations..my own needs and provisions..my own self and that which is self owned...

Should I take a break...is there a thirst to quench...?

..Hmmm think till the whistle is blown again..i'll be on the bench..

I am looking for Inspiration....

Anyone seen her today?

"24 hours of blue and black"

My eyes greet a faded morning
And the same thought reigns my mind,
If today will show a better tomorrow
And help ease my mind..

The morning chores begin with fervour
And 8 am comes too late,
The question of sustenance
Makes me wait and wait...and wait..

The phone bell rings once again
And the 'vivid' story repeats,
Concerns sometimes turn into bothers
So, Its nature I must beat!

A walk down an unpleasant aisle
And there the faces familiarly unknown,
Each with an story to narrate..
Looking for an ancedote to loan..

Competing with what seems like the world
And pleading for a friendly look,
2 minutes, all that is spared for affection
As love ticks like clockwork..

Etching new meanings for old words
And rescuing my faith from turning to dust,
With patience, coffee and deep breaths
The day wanes into a rust..

An evening of anticipation
And a collection of feelings alive,
Slumber with its white and blue dreams
Hesitates to take its drive..

At last the minutes close in
And stars begin playing spies,
My eyes handcuff to the darkness
Hoping to break open to a dazzling sunrise...

"Struggling for life"

He walked down the aisle
With a flower wilted, yet fine,
He looked at her eyes
That guarded the nose divine..

He bent down on one knee
And took her fair hand in his,
He spoke words soft and sweet
And admitted defeat..

He gently called her name
She was his bee, so 'Bumble',
He repeated it again n again
With a buzz ever so humble..

He tried to explain
The reasons and meanings, the fights,
He gently stroked her head
And had lost his manly might..

He looked at her innocent profile
And suddenly felt an overwhelming joy,
He was now sure of what he said
Like the boy who was gifted a new toy..

He saw acceptance in her face
And his emotions flowed,
For his love was in his arms now
He emitted pride, and glowed..

He walked down the same aisle
With her tiny trots by his side,
He had won her over, the custody
His existence,his life, his very own child..

"Wise Crack"

A friend of mine was just hit by the reality that she will soon be turning a year older...thanks to me reminding her of course..*wink*...and in the course of a rather depressing conversation, this is what I thought she was going through...with an added humour of course..:)

..Wise Crack..

I'll be 23
And have a bf younger than me..
Oh! I feel so old
And sadly, not so bold..
Will be limping soon?
with hair as grey as a cloudy moon?
In 3 years marriage might come
It will bring troubles by the tonne..
Hmm,but then there might be kids small
Or maybe a li'l puppy, peeing up the wall..
I think I rather have a dog
Gosh! my mind is in a fog..
Depression immense, with humour in it
I suddenly don't feel healthy or fit..
Don't you laugh, be nicer
At least I'll be older, but wiser..
Another month..and it'll be another year
Well, no point shedding a tear
It will come as others may
My end..my sorrow..my birthday..

LOL...love ya babe;) You know who u are...!

..Morning madness..

Heralding the "golden" days ahead...:)

Leaving home: *tra la la la la...*
Calm, set to achieve
Smile, set to impress

Reached to-be office: *breathing strong..*
Confident, set to network
Serious,set to listen

Met to-be team: *tada!*
Chatty, set to get aqauinted
Eager, set to get informed

Met to-be managers: *ho hummm..*
Questioning, set to learn
Straight face, set to be professional

Coffee chit chat: *gulp...*
Unusually grinny, set to hide the sweat
Communicative, set to conceal the nervousness

Way back to office: *phew...*
Blank, set to absorb
Errr, set to clear head

At work-now: *blaaah*
Blur, set to be prepared
Blur, what just happened this morning!

Yeah...sums up my entire morning..