"Up against a wall"

He walked into the door, the man I thought I loved much
And sat by my bedside, stroking my hair with his warm touch.
I knew it was time to make a decision, a decision unfair, untrue
I knew his affection was real, yet it was meant to woo.

I lay still, pretending not to understand the silence I knew so well
He looked at me with water in his eyes, eyes that to me were once swell.
I avoided the glare, I knew I would lose the battle I had considered won
I went through my options, options that were none.

Glimspes of the past few months pierced my heart, my aching soul
I thought if I kept sleeping the pain would go away, disappear as a whole.
But it was all true, she was gone and he had taken a stand, no questions asked
Sitting by my bedside I felt the tears, and I knew my answers won't last.

I turned away, he walked out of the room silently closing the door behind him
He took with him his expectations and support, and I knew I couldn't win.
So I closed my eyes again, attempted to dress the wounds that didn't show
And I prayed with my heart and soul to her, so she would never let go.

I pictured her sitting beside me, radiating feelings, warm and fragrant always
It helped me gather my thoughts and wisdom, which played a cat & mouse game.
Wiping my tears, I crept out of bed, and though I had no answers on the wall
I knew I couldn't pick between love & love, I was weak, so I decided not to pick at all.