People often tell me I lack attitude..I hope it's the bad type. I wouldn't want to carry the weight of that on my shoulders, and plus, I'm rather positive I am already overweight without it.
It's the same people who tell me I'm soft. No, not literally! Soft natured. Also, over sensitive, a bit gullible at times and hyper active when worried. Very moody. Moods swing me rather than the other way round.
Then there are others who say I don't get them. I think they don't express themselves enough for me to get them. I think they don't get themselves well enough to tell me what they are made up of. I think..I think they are worried to portray their true selves. Worried I may understand them too well for them to hide anything.
But I believe i like being all of the above. I would like to believe so. Everyone has a choice to be what they want to be. I choose this. I choose to be sugar coated. I choose to be concerned about others even if I lose sleep over it. I choose to be the simple gal-next-door when I could wave my hands snobbishly and trample every casual smile with my high heeled stilettos. I choose to be transparent. I speak my mind. Of course not when I'm sarcastic though. That is when you have to get me.
Attitude takes you places. The wrong sort of places. Affection takes you places as well. It takes you please you can re-discover and not run away from. Places you are not ashamed to be. Places you would brag to your grand kids about. Places of comfort.
I can be confident. My confidence lies in my secret to be submissive. Not a secret anymore. I can win over people but I choose to do so with sentiment rather than pretense. It's a temperament I support. I give way to my defense ego at the slightest risk of being called a braggart.
The reason? I want everyone to like me. Is that wrong? I worry about what everyone thinks of me and what I do. I am a phony. A phony with a twist because I would never admit the above. And I just did. Confusing as it is, I live on contradictions.
In the end, I think I could be just as much of a snoot as any of the miss-perfect-nails-nose-in-the-air-hoity-toity-walk-glances-to-kill-with-a-trail
-of-gorgeous-men-that-makes-you-green-with-envy gals....
But I choose not to be. Why? Simply because no one I know cares if my hair is styled when I need that snug hug..
...I choose to be a snoot who lost her stiff neck and tripped over her own stride somewhere along the way..
It's the same people who tell me I'm soft. No, not literally! Soft natured. Also, over sensitive, a bit gullible at times and hyper active when worried. Very moody. Moods swing me rather than the other way round.
Then there are others who say I don't get them. I think they don't express themselves enough for me to get them. I think they don't get themselves well enough to tell me what they are made up of. I think..I think they are worried to portray their true selves. Worried I may understand them too well for them to hide anything.
But I believe i like being all of the above. I would like to believe so. Everyone has a choice to be what they want to be. I choose this. I choose to be sugar coated. I choose to be concerned about others even if I lose sleep over it. I choose to be the simple gal-next-door when I could wave my hands snobbishly and trample every casual smile with my high heeled stilettos. I choose to be transparent. I speak my mind. Of course not when I'm sarcastic though. That is when you have to get me.
Attitude takes you places. The wrong sort of places. Affection takes you places as well. It takes you please you can re-discover and not run away from. Places you are not ashamed to be. Places you would brag to your grand kids about. Places of comfort.
I can be confident. My confidence lies in my secret to be submissive. Not a secret anymore. I can win over people but I choose to do so with sentiment rather than pretense. It's a temperament I support. I give way to my defense ego at the slightest risk of being called a braggart.
The reason? I want everyone to like me. Is that wrong? I worry about what everyone thinks of me and what I do. I am a phony. A phony with a twist because I would never admit the above. And I just did. Confusing as it is, I live on contradictions.
In the end, I think I could be just as much of a snoot as any of the miss-perfect-nails-nose-in-the-air-hoity-toity-walk-glances-to-kill-with-a-trail
-of-gorgeous-men-that-makes-you-green-with-envy gals....
But I choose not to be. Why? Simply because no one I know cares if my hair is styled when I need that snug hug..
...I choose to be a snoot who lost her stiff neck and tripped over her own stride somewhere along the way..
2 comments:
You seem to be in total control of your life
I only wish.
I think this stems from the fact that I would like to have total control. But what others think and do and say to me somehow manages to sneak its way around and tip that balance!
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