Long ago, on a wooden stage, I once saw a play
Of struggle, family, laughter and people's cruel ways,
Ways unnerving, yet realistice, ways truthful, yet demeaning..
Attention was played by someone who was always managed to hide
Everytime the characters sought a piece of her, she resisted, and cried,
Cried for herself, in tears silver, cried for others, with reasons bitter..
Possessiveness always screamed too loud, couldn't play her part as well
She needed to put herself in others shoes, and she didn't, I could tell,
Tell from her eyes,shedding selfish light, tell from her looks, being naive..
Care and Concern were siblings, dressed pink, hair done up in pins
If they were any more alike, I swear I would've thought they're twins,
Alike in ways of nature,manners and all, alike for strangers, otherwise apart..
Others walked around the stage, casual and confident, as if meant to be
I suddenly saw a character that almost.. no it did..it did look like me!
Same fears, reserved thoughts, same talk, to hide underneath it all..
Smile hovered around for long, she clothed it well, even made it fight with a Frown
A scuffle she resented, if it were upto her, she would've always played clown,
A clown,seen frivolous,clowning for the world, for her a way to be free..
Half way through, I stood up and walked away unacceptably,unnoticed and slow
Surrounded by emotions,was I like the rest? a mere character, a regular john doe?
Common for you,craving the same, commonly common, but maybe..unique.. ?
7 comments:
well this world is a stage and we have to go on playing n emoting whether we like it or not...so best is to grin n bear it..:)
Before I post my comment on this,
some questions....
some questions
"Smile hovered around for long, she clothed it well, even made it fight with a Frown
overed around for long, she clothed it well, even made it fight with a Frown"
'it' refers to the character that resembled you or is it a direct reference to you?
"Surrounded by emotions,was I like the rest? a mere character, a regular john doe?"
why the reference to john doe here? you earlier mention seeing a character that resembled you. But reference to john doe means you are not sure of your identity or the character that resembled you?
Lolly
Answers:
1. The character
2. John doe as in an ordinary person..the person on stage is depicted as an everyday person..a normal common human being..n since she resembles me..i feel i'm common..
I'm not sure of the identity..ure correct..its just the face tht strikes me as similar..and that is why i find it hard to accept that I lead such a common life..
The methodology used to convey the idea/thought here might appear to be loosely borrowed from Shakepeare's 'All the world's a stage'. I can see a clear inspiration and admiration of his work(s).
But the methodology works - to an extent.
The character development has been done pretty neatly here with special reference to Care and Concern.
Its the transition that disappoints a bit. Transition from the character development to the essence of this poem - Your Identity and thoughts on it.It seems a bit forced.
Overall,a nice read. Could have been something more special.
maybe unique ? :)
Lolly
Thanks for that..:)
I wanted the transition to be abrupt..because I intended that it makes the reader feel I left the thoughts mid way and started focussing on something more important..Me..
In the end it all boils down to identifying each and every incident to ourselves..even thought it's not intentional..
Not sure how clearly how that was brought out..but that was Selfishness..without an explicit mention..
Forgot to add...I love personifications..as many might have noticed from my previous posts...I think they add an element of easy self identification with the rhyme, the flow, the poem, and are quite unique..;)
Personal observation of course..views may differ...
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